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So I know I have neglected the ole blog recently. It's just one of those seasons, where it falls to the bottom of my list. But I felt like I needed to get a little post up before October hit.
We are headed to the beach this week. Friends of our from college had a little hook-up for us all to stay at this week. Yes, I said week. This vacation has come at the perfect time for us. We need some rest, relaxation, and fun.
It is a lot of work to go away. Every time we leave for a week, I get stressed. Why does a good thing like vacation always start out bad because of my stress. You'd think by now, things would be different.
We felt the need for a tv fast this week. When your kids ask to watch tv every time they have free time, its time for a break. I didn't realize how much I relied on it as a babysitter. Kids, let me introduce you to your toys! The lesson has been great, however, when this mommy just needs to pack the bags or prepare some food for our trip, it would be nice to sit the children down in front of the old idiot box. (that's an Ed Martinism)
Fall is here and I'm in love...again! I love everything about fall. The food, football, leaves changing, cooler weather, etc etc. I'm excited to clean out the closets when we get back.
Well back to packing...
Last weekend we went away to the mountains for the day. My husband absolutely loves going to the mountains and it reminds me of when we started dating back in college. He likes the adventure, I like being with him!
So we picked a pretty well-traveled hike with lots to see along the way since we knew with three little we wouldn't make it all the way. And we were right! The kids did great considering their age, although Micah wanted more! He always does.
I don't claim to be a pro at everything or even much of anything, but there is one thing I can do. Meltdown.
I am not proud of it, but it is reality.
A friend of mine wrote recently that she wasn't at her best "lately". I totally related to that post.
Ever since we started school, life has been pushing me. Things are busy. I have a lot on my plate. And I've started to wonder have I bit off more than I can chew?
I constantly remind myself "I cannot do it all!" Sometimes I yell it at myself! Seriously.
Whether it is the kids irritating me or my to do list yelling at me or the lack of rest I've given myself or the stress of family decisions we have to make, I have a hard time catching the meltdown before it occurs. So my face turns red, fire spews out of my mouth, my claws grab sweet little kids, and its over. I have failed...again!
So here's my list of things to do when you are seconds away from turning into an ugly-faced fire-breathing dragon.
1. Give yourself a time out. We do it to our kids when they can't think through a problem logically because they are so worked up. So why not do it for ourselves? Call a roomtime or plop those kids in front of the tv, and give yourself a breather!
2. Seek the LORD. When God is working on something with me, which is always, I usually am claiming clinging grabbing on for dear life to a verse that applies. Have it nearby and recite it to yourself over and over and over until you feel yourself calm down. Then pray pray pray and ask the Lord to redeem the day or the moment the same way he redeemed you long ago.
3. Quit. I don't mean throw in the towel and walk out of the house and never return. Although walking out of the house to let out a scream, and then walk back in is completely normal...right?! What I do mean is you can stop whatever you are doing, and do something you will all enjoy. I mean sometimes, everyone needs a redirection at some point. If things are getting tense doing school, take a break. If kids are getting crazy inside, take a walk. Drive to the playground. Go get ice cream. Go to Target. Do something to change the moment and regain control of you and the kids.
4. Take a shower. I am not kidding here! Let's be real, there are days that I don't shower until nap time. I have been known to put the kids in their room or if Ed is home, my escape is a long hot shower. It is just a place for me to have peace and quiet. (Remember to lock the door...they will find you!) I usually have some of my best thoughts in the shower.
5. Talk it out. Sometimes I just need a debrief with my husband. He understands me more than anyone, and he can usually help me discern if I am just being tremendously selfish or in need of a break. I usually feel better after I talk it out, and I end up loving him more. Win - win.
6. GET AWAY! Ed and I survive on this method. Other than the Lord, the most practical thing we can do for each other is get away. Getting out of the house or sometimes, kicking them out of the house is the best way for me to get some mommy time. And when I am seconds from a meltdown, a usual culprit is that mommy hasn't had a break in a while. So my husband will tell me to leave. It probably has something to do with the fact that I am not pleasant to be around! I usually take off with my bible, journal, and computer, or I go shop. Ed will take a load of books or go do something outside or both. We both need our time. It makes us a better mommy and daddy, and husband and wife.
I don't expect all of these to apply to you, but hopefully they will help you the next time things start getting crazy. As moms, we all have our days. And we are going to have our meltdowns. That's okay. It's a tough job and no one has ever done it perfectly. We all need grace to get us through the really messy times because one thing I've learned is we can't do it on our own.
It's been a while since I've done an update on the girl. She is growing like crazy!
It seems she is headed straight for the terrible twos, and I can't stop her! I haven't quite recovered from the last one. We get tastes of it here and there with her glorious outbursts and outright temper tantrums. That girl knows how to scream!
We recently bought Haleigh a baby, and she took to it immediately. She started pulling out these mommy skills that I had no idea where they came from! She wanted to rock the baby, and rub its back, and put her to bed.
She would tell me the baby was hungry or thirsty or even worse, poopy. Then I told her, "Girl, take care of your own baby!" All of a sudden I felt like I had another child! So she is now taking care of all the needs of her little baby and has to take her everywhere.
My little girl just won't listen to me when I tell her to stop growing!
Well here are some pics from the first day of school, last Monday. I'm a week late! I can't believe I have a child in Kindergarten now! Where has the time gone?
I've read a lot of parenting books.
Books on training the heart. Books on discipline. Books on using Scripture in your correction. Books on practical ideas for every situation.
These books have been good, and they have given me many parenting tools to use each and every day. They have been a source of encouragement for me in walking in this new territory that I don't feel very experienced in.
But I've realized something. (from another book!) I have made some of these things into a new law. The laws of parenting by Katie Martin.
I've realized that these methods and philosophies and practical ideas are forming this good parenting in, good children out mentality. I have come to think that if I do things right with my kids, then they will most likely be good kids. And have a better chance at becoming a believer.
The problem is I am putting too much of an emphasis on myself and my abilities as a parent. Can I alone save them? No.
I have forgotten grace. The Lord is the one who saves. The Lord is the one who draws a child to himself. There is no formula a + b = c. Being a good parent does not necessarily result in a saved child.
The reality is despite our best efforts, we can still have a child who chooses to rebell against everything we've ever taught him.
So I am realizing that while God has placed me in this role as a parent to love our kids and teach them and show them as much as we can about the Lord, it is ultimately the Lord that has to work in their lives.
And His working in their lives is powerful enough to cover any mistake I make as a parent. Its called grace. We need it in our every day and we need it in our parenting.
Do I believe God is good enough?
Do I believe he is wise enough?
Do I believe he loves my kids more than I do?
Do I believe he is faithful to finish what he started? (Phil 1:6)
May my too high a view of my ability to parent decrease!
May my too low a view of God's love and trustworthiness increase so much more!
(notes from "Give Them Grace")
This what occurred while Caleb and I sat at the table during lunch...
I was talking about who knows what.
Caleb: DDDDDUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!! (really sarcastic and annoying)
Me: Caleb, don't say "duh! That's rude.
Caleb: I have to say "Duh". "Duh" is AWESOME!
Where does he come up with these things?! And what do you say to that?!
