His Grace is Enough

I've read a lot of parenting books.


Books on training the heart.  Books on discipline.  Books on using Scripture in your correction.  Books on practical ideas for every situation.


These books have been good, and they have given me many parenting tools to use each and every day.  They have been a source of encouragement for me in walking in this new territory that I don't feel very experienced in.


But I've realized something.  (from another book!)  I have made some of these things into a new law.  The laws of parenting by Katie Martin.  


I've realized that these methods and philosophies and practical ideas are forming this good parenting in, good children out mentality.  I have come to think that if I do things right with my kids, then they will most likely be good kids.  And have a better chance at becoming a believer.


The problem is I am putting too much of an emphasis on myself and my abilities as a parent.  Can I alone save them? No.  


I have forgotten grace.  The Lord is the one who saves.  The Lord is the one who draws a child to himself.  There is no formula a + b = c.  Being a good parent does not necessarily result in a saved child.  


The reality is despite our best efforts, we can still have a child who chooses to rebell against everything we've ever taught him.  


So I am realizing that while God has placed me in this role as a parent to love our kids and teach them and show them as much as we can about the Lord, it is ultimately the Lord that has to work in their lives.  


And His working in their lives is powerful enough to cover any mistake I make as a parent. Its called grace.  We need it in our every day and we need it in our parenting.  


Do I believe God is good enough?  
Do I believe he is wise enough?  
Do I believe he loves my kids more than I do?
Do I believe he is faithful to finish what he started? (Phil 1:6)


May my too high a view of my ability to parent decrease!
May my too low a view of God's love and trustworthiness increase so much more!


(notes from "Give Them Grace")

Absorbing the Debt

I'm working my way through Tim Keller's book Counterfeit Gods, and it is really good as anything else by him.  This morning I read this portion on forgiveness and I thought it was so good so I had to share. 


All forgiveness is costly.  


Forgiveness is always costly for the giver.  The recipient receives it freely.


Sometimes I think of forgiveness as "just forgive them".  I kind of take the heart out of it, and I just forgive because I am trying to be obedient.  But the reality is it shouldn't be easy. 


When I say something hurtful to my husband, and he forgive me.  He isn't saying, "Oh that's ok, just don't do it again you little knucklehead!"


He is taking the hit (being my words), absorbing it, and in his heart forgiving me.  That is A LOT for someone who has just been hurt.  


Me, on the other hand, I did nothing but be the creator and messenger of those words.  And yet, the forgiveness is given to me anyway.


Keller says, 

No one who is seriously wronged can "just forgive" the perpetrator.  If you have been robbed of money, opportunity, or happiness, you can either make the wrongdoer pay it back or you can forgive.  But when you forgive, that means you absorb the loss and the debt.  You bear it yourself.

So transfer that to us and God.  We all have done wrong to him, and so much worse than hurtful words.  From the day we were born, we were enemies of God.  


But He took all our sin, to the cross and absorbed the loss.  It was tremendously costly for Him, and we receive forgiveness freely!  Though we did not deserve it, we received it.


All forgiveness is costly.

Books of 2010

In 2010, one of my goals was to read more.  With two kids in the last two years, reading kinda got cut out!  Other than my morning Bible time and "Barnyard Dance", it just wasn't a priority.  But I realized I needed it, and so I made it a goal.  I didn't even pick a number of books to read, I just decided I would always be working through a book.  And it was amazing how they challenged me in my walk with the Lord, how some of them even carried a similar theme that I think God was teaching me, and other were practically helpful in my daily life. 

Here's the list of books I read and definitely recommend them to you if you have not come across them yet!

The Prodigal God - A fresh, biblical perspective on the story of The Prodigal Son that will leave you challenged.  It offers a challenge to both the "younger brother" and the "elder brother" no matter which category you fall under.  His basic premise is that both are consumed with self and in need of a "true elder brother" to rescue them at his own expense.  The neat thing about this book is that it hits all people no matter where they are in their spiritual life.

Crazy Love - If you somehow missed this one, read it!  This book set the tone for me in 2010.   A scripture-filled reminder of God's Great Love for us and how that should radically change who we are every day and how it should impact those around us!


Dancing with My Father - I read this with my small group and it seemed to carry a similar message of Crazy Love.  It was about living life full of joy and how to find that joy in life.  Her basic message that I kept getting was that joy is a choice.  Our God has given us every reason to be joyful and has even commanded us to be full of joy.  No matter life's circumstances, with Christ, there is always a reason to be joyful, the choice is ours!


Don't Make Me Count to Three - I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book!  It is one of the best parenting books out there!  It is the same parenting thought as "Shepherding a Child's Heart", but full of practical ideas of how to train the heart.  She teaches you how to reach the heart of the child, how to give biblical reproof, and the proper use of the rod.  Seriously, she aligns with the best parenting books out there, but I have gotten the most practical stuff from her!  It is a book I refer back to often! 


Radical - Yep!  I could not have gone the whole year and not read one of the best books of the year!  Yes, I'm a little biased because Ed and I have listened to this guys sermons for several years now, and love his teaching.  This was the last book I read and truthfully, I don't think all the content has really sunk in.  It's one of those books that's so challenging you almost need to take it in small bits and spend time really reflecting on it.  A must read!


So there it is!  Now I need to make my list for this year!  Any recommendations for 2011?  

Always?

One of my goals this year is to read more. I enjoy reading most of the time, but it has just become one of those things that has gotten pushed aside in the midst of life. But in addition to spending time in the Word, there is much wisdom in so many books that are out there...and a lot of books that shouldn't even be in print! I am currently reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan.


Let's just say it is really good. Its funny, I actually started reading it last summer. And you know those times you pick up a book to read and its just not the right time. You can't get into it. Well that was me. I read the first three chapters and just wasn't feeling it. Then I decided to pick it back up and I've been flying through it. It's the right time!

One of the things I was challenged with I want to share with you. Recently, I've been reminded of the verse "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil 4:4) In my day to day life at home with the kids, constantly cleaning, cooking, etc, it is really easy for me to get bogged down, stressed out, and almost have a pity party. I get overwhelmed and feel like I just can't do it all. I get in a rut where I don't enjoy the very thing I've wanted to do all my life. How selfish of me! So then I read this in the book...

When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job-I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.

Worry implies that we don't quite trust God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional.

So by the grace of God, may I rejoice more in the midst of all of my circumstances whether I see them as "good" or "bad". And if you need a book to read, I highly recommend this one!