Preparing my Heart for Christmas

As I spend some time reading this morning, I found God bringing some thoughts to mind that I thought had kind of  well disappeared.  And so now, the result, I'm finding myself heading into the Christmas weekend with mixed feelings.  Funny how God would want me to be half elated, half depressed on his birthday!  Anyway, my journey began a couple of months ago when I read Radical.  Insert - ugh!  I know, everyone that has read it has probably felt the same.  I guess that is a whole other post on that book.  Then yesterday, I read a post from a new blog I'm reading, and it left me, well, haunted.

You see, I don't consider myself to have lots because our lifestyle just doesn't allow for it.  Sure I would love to have a flat screen tv, cable, my own personal laptop, a bigger house so we aren't always in each other's space, but the reality is that is just not ever going to be us.  And so the Lord has been teaching me for a while how much I really have in comparison to the world.  I've never thought of myself as filthy rich, have you?  

Picture with me - Christmas morning...We will get up, get out of our super comfortable plush mattress, slip on some cozy slippers, walk downstairs, in a heated home, to our way too expensive coffee maker to get some hot coffee.  Then Ed and I will sit on our huge couches and turn on some Christmas music on our computers, and read out of our Bibles that aren't even allowed in so many countries.  We will enjoy peace and quiet while our three healthy children sleep in their individual beds.  Does it get you like it gets me?  And I haven't even started the actual opening of gifts and the feast we will enjoy.  

So after thinking through all this...do I really need anything else?  I am about to receive amazing things this weekend, things I don't need.  I am grateful for them, but I pray these things don't make me want more!  I am so desperate for the Lord to fill my heart with thankfulness and a real understanding of what I actually do need and what it extra.  Are extras bad?  Not all the time.  But honestly, I am beginning to feel like the extras are closing in on me.  

I loved this post from my friend Jen on how they taught their kids the difference between wants and needs.  A perfect lesson before this barrage of gifts they will receive this weekend!

So what do we do with this weekend?  Do we become a cynic and grunt after every gift is open?  Does it give us a new spirit as we open these things that we don't need but are just that - a gift - a blessing - something we can be tremendously grateful for because we know that more than half the world does not have it.  Honestly I don't know!  This is a new journey for me, one that will carry over into next year.  I pray this Christmas, the Lord will make me thankful and grateful for the things I take for granted and for the new things I receive.