Molly Grace

Just seeing her name brings a smile to my face.  It is just so beautiful, just like her.  Her burial was today.  We chose not to have a service right now, we'll do that later.  Ed and our pastor, Brian, just went for the burial.  Ed just said, as her daddy, he needed to be there.  I am so thankful for the strength of my man.  He has really had it hard this week.

In honor of my little girl, I wanted to tell you a little about her.

We chose "Molly" because we liked it, but more importantly, it was what Haleigh wanted to name her.  And as her sister, we wanted to give her that honor.  Having two sisters myself, it absolutely breaks my heart that Haleigh won't get to meet her sister here.  They won't get to share a room, or clothes, or fight, or snuggle.  It's just heart wrenching, isn't it?

We chose "Grace" for many reasons.  I mean I could go on and on.  But grace is undeserved favor or getting something/someone/anything you don't deserve.  After losing our little one last November, I decided that this pregnancy I would choose to see this as a blessing.  Without knowing the outcome, the mere fact that I got to carry another of God's creations was a gift.  Week after week, it was a little celebration that we made it that far.  It was a grace.  Week after week, grace after grace.  When she was 11 weeks, she was the size of a lime.  So Ed took all of us out to a Mexican place here called Lime, just to celebrate her being alive 11 weeks.  Then I started feeling her kick, and boy did she kick!  Then a couple of weeks later, Ed felt her.  And just last week, Caleb felt her kick.  Grace after grace.  Her little life was a blessing, a gift from God.

Tuesday, we got to spend the day with her in the hospital.  We got to touch her.  We got to hold her hand and feel her fingernails.  She had the longest little fingers.  We got to see her cute little feet.  The nurse did her footprints and gave us a little card with them on it.  We got to hold her and kiss her and tell her all about her siblings.  We said our goodbyes.  It was a sacred day.

So in the same way I started this pregnancy, I will end it with this.  She is a blessing, a gift.  A grace that none of us deserved.  Oh how I wish she was here!  I long for her more than anything.  But if I have to let go, I will choose to see her as a blessing.  Because my life would be so different, empty if I had not met her.

  Jesus, heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds.